As a self-declared “emotionally-driven person”, I can honestly say that emotions are incredibly complex. Emotional intelligence can be an intimidating term. However, when you break it down to a simple definition, it can be easier to understand. To me, emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize your emotions, as well as other’s emotions, and manage them appropriately. The managing aspect of emotional intelligence involves self-regulation. It is important to understand and recognize your emotions, but it is arguably more important to be able to regulate and manage them to ensure the outcome that you want. Therefore, in order to improve your emotional intelligence, you must know how to effectively self-regulate.

Personally, I don’t consider myself very high in emotional intelligence. I sometimes allow my emotions to control my behavior without thinking about it. My emotions are strong, and they will overpower my rational thinking in a second. With that being said, I do feel as though I am fully aware of my emotions and am fairly good at analyzing other people’s emotions.

While I don’t feel as though my emotional intelligence is on the high side of the scale, I know that I am actively working on that aspect of my life and I feel as if I have improved. For example, before having children, anger was an emotion that I struggled with. I was not always able to control that emotion and I would frequently lash out at those who I loved most. Now that I have children, I can see the growth that I’ve had in this area. While I still feel angry at times, I am able to step back, think about why I’m feeling the way I’m feeling, understand how my emotions and actions will affect those around me and adjust accordingly. While I recognize my growth in this area, I do also recognize that I am not done learning and growing. There are times when my emotions still take over and cloud my reasoning, but I know that with time, and practice, I can increase my emotional intelligence.

I took the emotional intelligence test provided by Psychology Today. The image below is a snapshot of my results. It is clear that, while I do feel as though I am learning to become more emotionally intelligent, I have some room for improvement.