Ever since I heard that people willingly become a Surrogate Partner I always thought it was a form of prostitution. But the more I think about it, the more my opinion on the topic changes. In American society there is an enormous stigma that paying for any form a sex is degrading, illegal, and immoral for the people who are being paid to perform the sexual act with someone. As far as I know, this type of therapy is perfectly legal. The problem with that way of thinking is that someone is the victim and someone is the perpetrator in this scenario, because the person with the money has the power… but what if that is not always the case?

Just because someone is a Surrogate Partner does not mean that they are going to have sexual intercourse with each and every client. There is talking therapy where the client and express and talk about their ideas and beliefs about intimacy. There are some Surrogate Partners that do have sexual intercourse with their clients but there is so much more to the session than sex. Having a safe space is crucial to explore intimacy and sexual touching where both people are willing to learn. Learning how to caress a body and being emotionally open to someone is a beautiful process. Everyone deserves to have intimacy if they so choose, but not everyone is comfortable with being emotionally available. Intimacy is more then just jumping into bed with someone and then leaving. It can encompass a conversation, listening, dating, cuddling, etc.

Therapy ends when the client and therapist both decide that the goals of the therapy sessions have been met. The people celebrate the relationship and goals that were built and the clients look towards the future. It is difficult to say when the sessions should end but that is the beauty of therapy; as long as the client feels the need to keep coming, the therapist will be there to listen.

Personally I do not think that I can ever be the surrogate or client in this form of therapy but I understand. I understand why someone would feel the need to so this. Intimacy is scary, confusing, and does not come easily but there is help for people who want it.

Helpful Links:



Documentaries to watch:

Virgin School


— DM

DM is currently a student in WMST 495, Sexing the Body. Chime in with your thoughts in the comments section!