In re-reading my first blog post, I’m happy to discover that I’ve been successful for the most part, in meeting my own expectations. As expected, I gained a foundational understanding of social psychology and I’m just a bit more tech-savvy. I remember writing that first blog entry and thinking surely I would be an ePortfolio expert by the end of the course. In reality, I grossly misjudged my ability to learn WordPress quickly. Even with tutors, there is sometimes a generational difference in communicating technical assistance in a way that I understand. Being that digital tools like WordPress are necessary these days, I’m thankful to have increased my knowledge in this area, even if I’m far from having mastered it.

The ways in which my attitude about social psychology has changed, are as follows: I’m more interested in the field and I’ve gotten confirmation that I’d like to learn much more about social psychology. If I took this course over, the only thing I’d do differently is to be at least somewhat proficient at WordPress so that it wouldn’t interfere with my learning of actual social psychology content.

Over this summer semester, my academic progress and growth has been due to a few mistakes that I made. Accidently enrolling in two, six-week courses along with this course which required much more tech-know-how than I possessed, found me really overwhelmed and just hanging on. Although the content of the courses I took this semester (Abnormal Psyc, Intro to Criminal Justice and Social Psyc) were fascinating to me, the ways in which I academically grew ended up being more about general perseverance and determination rather that purely academic. I was forced to let go of my perfectionism in order to simply get work submitted, and even still, I missed many submissions – which makes me cringe. This semester also taught me the importance of paying better attention when picking my courses.

I know that learning how to create digital portfolios like this one will be 100% applicable to my professional life and I look forward to mastering and using this skill!

I really like how Dr. Linda Ferguson explains the relationship between self-regulation (SR) and emotional intelligence (EQ) in the second part of her five-part YouTube series called Emotional Intelligence Series. Ferguson explains that both self-regulation and emotional intelligence are the links between what we think and what we feel and that they are both entirely ours. Right off the bat, with this description, she demonstrates an empowering style; encouraging us to fully acknowledge our inner world and to be the best version of ourselves that we can be by being pro-active toward our own emotional good health.

Honestly, I was nervous to take an online EQ test. I was afraid to have my recent fears, that I’m officially an emotional wreck with the self-regulating ability of a teenager, confirmed. Surprised and relieved to read my results from a quiz I found on the IHHP’s (Institute for Health and Human Potential) website, I was immediately reminded of my tendency to catastrophize. Apparently, I’m doing okay.

I see self-regulation as the outward manifestation of emotional intelligence, and vice versa; this is how I’ve always thought of it anyway. We are the bicycle and our SR and EQ are the wheels; each of the 3 parts interdependent upon each other. Tires with good tread, full of air, without damage, sitting on a good solid round frame with no rust as a metaphor for a fully functioning SR-EQ circuit that determines how the bicycle moves.

Lately, my regulation of self has been challenged for so many reasons that it’d take another blog to explain. I’ll just say that menopause has brought a new level of life challenges that are currently stretching my ability to remain emotionally intelligent and self-regulating. Listening to Dr. Ferguson speak on this subject has come at a perfect time when I’ve really needed something. 

One of the best examples I can think of, of the ways in which emotional intelligence can be displayed, is by watching people during conversations and situations, or life circumstances, in which they are not getting what they want. To continue with my bicycle analogy, these are the times when the rubber meets the road of life.

The mind-body connection between SR and EQ is undeniable. Any breathing technique that I’ve tried during times of stress to help me get through has helped me to regain composure or at least not to spin out of control. I used to do 911 dispatch and used some of the very techniques mentioned by Dr. Ferguson to get through some difficult calls and difficult nights in general. Continuing to recognize when these techniques are needed and then actually employing them is a sure way to keep improving my own EQ. Reacting to stressors really is the easiest thing to do in moments of stress. Self-regulation however takes committed self-awareness and the willingness to continually put into practice things like meditation, breathing, journaling or simply taking a day, or an hour or 10 minutes, to be alone and quiet with zero distraction to genuinely self-reflect. These practices, in my experience all help to improve emotional intelligence.

It would have been virtually impossible to have never noticed the ways that advertisements target, objectify and manipulate societal views of feminine beauty. As a woman in her late 40’s, I’m not sure that I could accurately put into words just how much I appreciate Jean Kilbourne. Kilbourne’s Ted X Talk entitled, The Dangerous Ways Ads See Women was a welcome reminder for me, even now after years of concerted effort to consciously avoid buying into media standards of beauty and to fully accept myself as I am; this reminder is still needed.

For the most part, I’ve always been aware of the focus on the sexualization of female versus male. Even as a young woman I remember consciously thinking how attractive some men were with salt and pepper hair but how women of the same age, with gray hair just seemed un-kept and neglected.

As far as I can remember, there’s never been a time in my life when I wasn’t aware of the beauty standards set by advertising and the entertainment industry. My awareness of the unattainability of these standards have varied during different times in my life. I think I’ve always been at least somewhat aware of the unrealistic standards while also, more-or-less striving to try and get my own beauty as close to the standard as I could. I can honestly say that I went through my 20’s and part of my 30’s with a feeling duty to strive for this standard. At some point, I had a reckoning of my inevitable aging but also of the “harsh” realities of my body type and my skin (which is very freckly). Eventually, the feeling of harsh reality regarding what I saw as my physical imperfections, evolved into something closer to acceptance, which is where I’m at now.

I really enjoyed Kilbourne’s talk. I found myself cheering her on and chiming in approval during certain parts. It was interesting to see how the ways in which advertisers manipulate images have changed throughout the years, and then comparing these to what we now know are available in the form of endless beauty photo filters.

These advertisements are taken from two magazines that targets older and/or conservative women. I chose these magazines to specifically show the generational difference in targetted advertising. Ads for a younger generation of women would not typically be delivered via magazine these days and might focus on different issues but the basic message of the ads are the same: you are not okay as you are & buy this or that product or service to be your best self.

First for Women magazine, April 26, 2021

Woman’s World, May 31, 2021

I’ll start with strategy. Be it an assignment, studying for an exam, a research paper, or an entire course. What I’ve found has worked well for me is the following formula: Survey with a bird’s eye view. Question; come up with my own genuine curiosities & make a list of vocabulary and/or concepts that are unknown or confusing to me. Read and reread. Retrieve (test, test, test). Review; by way of well managed, time-efficient relaxed reading, writing or going through flash cards.

I’ve always wanted to take a social psychology class and so I’m really happy to be in this one. My expectations for this course are to absorb as much about the basic social psychology concepts as I can in this quick 12-week summer semester. Also, I expect to become just a little bit more tech-savvy thanks to this ePortfolio project! I think a good basic grasp on social psychology theories, etc. would benefit any person working in any field.

In response to Nathan DeWall’s article, Sexual Conflict: Uncovering the Mysteries of the Mating Battleground, and for lack of a less graphic adjective, this topic is a “juicy” one. So many different bodily fluids involved in these matters; blood, sweat, tears, and then of course sexual secretions of the “all alone type,” the fornicating type and the baby making type. There has probably more human energy, joy, strife and terror created because of these bodily fluids  than anything else in our world besides religion. It’s an intriquing topic that I cannot imagine no group of people in any room couldn’t have at least a mildly spirited conversation. 

In brainstorming the ways we (the sexes) annoy, anger, irritate and upset each other I noticed some interesting things. The first is that much of it seemed possibly dependent on social conditioning. Things men stereoypically not being good listeners and women being percieved as needing to talk excessively.  Another classic example would be the perception that women need more affection and tenderness than men do. I noticed that these types of annoyances are very difficult to differentiate between being a gender biased or gender conditioned characteristic and something that is inherently part of who we are biologically. No doubt, we’ve all known men or women, maybe we even are them, who don’t fall into one of our genders stereotypes. 

Other examples, like men typically having a sometimes exhaustingly strong libido while the woman feigns a headache to get out of having sex every night, remind me that we are undeniably & inherently different at times. The metaphor of the man being the rough/tough actor and his actual genitalia, as compared to the metaphor of the woman feeling all the feelings so deeply and her sexual and reproductive organs literally being deep and more so on the inside.

No doubt that men and women tend to be different but what part of that is societally conditioned and what are actual differences, is the piece I cannot leave out in discussing this topic. Being that either sex can feel pressure to be or act a certain way, the metaphorical battleground of the sexes is littered with an extra large sized dose of expectation, agenda and ego. Conversely, some of these items are the same, like for instance, lying. 

Men angering women: Not listening, lying by omission, lying, constant need for sex, checking out other women either blatantly or stealthily, not opening up; sharing/communicating their feelings, insisting on being “in charge” even when they don’t know what they are doing or where they are, being overly jealous/protective/possessive/controlling. 

Women angering men: Needing to talk, Lying by omission, lying, less libido, emotional/hormonal, being late, speding money on items percieved as frivolous, needing affection, needing to go out and be wined and dined with romance and cultural events, being analytical, dressing “too sexy.”

The first image I chose, I chose specifically because it shows a representative of both sexes being sneaky and/or distracted at the same time. I believe this is one of those things that both male/female probably do an equal amount but for some reason men are more typically expected to be the “dogs.” They both look at their cell phones over eachothers shoulders, which is a great image for this digital age and the challenges it can pose in relationships. 

The second image I chose is a cartoon style of a woman talking to a man in more of a defensive stance, not talking. This one to me represents what I have consistently been witness to and experienced first-hand. More often than not, the female needing to talk things out, to get clarity and to express all her feelings and to insist on knowing his which then turns the male often into a defensive, questioning dodging, minimizing, closed vault. These are such stereotypes but more common than not, I’ve found.