Narrative Essay Postscript

Upon reading the requirements for the essay and completing the narrative journals, I constructed an outline of my essay. My topic was a moment during high school when I believed that I was a failure. At that point in my life, there were so many things happening that I could not control to the point where everything had gotten out of hand. The story was emotionally packed, and served as a learning point in my life which I believe to be a life lesson that will stick with me forever. I first settled on the most important event to base my essay off of because it would provide the best understanding of the story as a whole. This event was finding out I no longer had a partner for a project nor a project at all. I wrote down a sequence of events, concentrating on the most important aspects of the event. As I wrote down the events, I added details such as thoughts or actions that occurred at that time. I knew my inner thoughts would be what told the story and not just the chronological order of events. 

In the first draft of my essay, I was missing details that provided an explanation or a better understanding of my thought process. I elaborated my relationship with my partner and my feelings after the incident. In my resubmission, I added more detail and shorter paragraphs to give a more dramatic presence to the story.  By doing this, I was able to add more emotion to the story. Upon finishing my resubmission, my essay provided a more emotional and detailed account of an event in my life.

My peers mainly said that there were parts of my essay that were unclear. In my first draft, they suggested that details about the event and characters were what was making the story unclear. I needed to add details about why I was upset about losing my partner, and who exactly were the people involved. They also suggested that I add details about my surroundings to provide a more vivid image. Even though I improved when writing my final draft, I was still missing key details. I left too many questions unanswered which obstructed the overall understanding of the situation. 

If able to continue working on the essay, I would add dialogue and shorter paragraphs to the essay. The dialogue adds to the drama of the story and provides a deeper understanding of the situation. By adding shorter paragraphs or one word sentences, I would be adding to the style of the essay. It would also add to the drama of the story.