ATA4
Assignment four asked us to take a self-scoring Styles of Love Questionnaire test to find out our personal scores for each style of love; Eros, Ludus, Storge, Pragma, Mania, and Agape. We were asked to compare our scores to the average scores for our gender and discuss whether we were surprised with our results. This reminded me of an assignment I had done in a previous class about Love Languages. We discussed how loving actions feel different to different people. It was another assignment I was able to reflect on to help me better understand my relationship and my partner’s needs.
This assignment helped me to assess my own love style. I assessed my scores and reflected on whether I thought they accurately portrayed the type of partner I try to be and the kind of relationship I wanted to be in. My scores showed me a lot of growth that I hadn’t taken time to sit and consider prior to the assignment. I realized that some of my partner’s and my love styles have changed over the years, while some styles have remained relevant. I can reflect on times where my love styles were different and what I feel like lead to me showing or needing love in those ways. I learned to better categorize my actions and needs in my relationship to reflect on my style of love and to reflect on my partner’s potential love styles to better understand them. It’s interesting to consider how each person has their own mix of love styles based on their background and their personal needs. Some people may not be able to meet each other’s love styles while some may be complimentary.
ATA3
Assignment three allowed for some good introspection into my own intentions and beliefs and how well I practice habits that reflect my intentions or beliefs. After watching the video on Michael Richards, I decided to watch a few videos where he discusses the event from his own perspective. In these videos, Richards seemed to be in disbelief and showed a good amount of shame for his actions. He ensured the viewers that he does not believe he is a racist person and doesn’t understand how his anger manifested into such blind rage and inappropriate, harmful comments. I tried to think of a time where I had done something completely out of character based on my beliefs and values. At what times do my actions not meet my words? Why had I acted out in those ways and what does that mean about who I am and the values I hold? In reflecting on Richards’ racist actions and my own actions that have not aligned with my values, I feel like these are opportunities to examine subconscious or deep-set beliefs that we may hide when we’re around others.
In my experience, and possibly Richards, the intense emotion I felt was enough to keep me from considering whether what I was saying was to the appropriate audience or in the appropriate setting. I have said many things I haven’t meant to out of anger, anxiety, fear, frustration, etc. I have learned to use these moments as an opportunity to reflect on my values and try to identify why I said what I did, much the way Richards claimed to be doing. I want to act in a way that reflects my values, not just the people I am around or the setting I am in. Adjusting and reflecting on my actions to assure they define me well will be a lifetime process.
ATA2
This assignment helped me to appreciate how far I have come in my journey towards being truer to who I am. It was interesting to me to really take some time to look at my social media profiles and see what they represent or say about me. I felt like my pages were a happy representation of who I am, maybe leaving out some of my struggles, but not all of them. I want my social media to be a happy place for me to share the things that excite me and the parts of my life that I am excited about. I do not feel like this would have been the case if I had done this assignment a few years ago. My social media profiles used to represent a facade of who I thought I should try to be, not who I genuinely am. I was grateful to take the time and reflect on how far I have come. This assignment helped me to accomplish that feeling of pride in myself and to celebrate being more authentic.
