I was very fortunate to have had the opportunity to partake in the conversation partner program that is part of the English Language Center at Old Dominion University. My partner, Ni, comes from China and is studying computer science at the university. We immediately connected as we both share many similarities: We are both from Asian cultures, we both have a non-English native language, and we both have a history with computer science. This allowed me to understand Ni’s perspective on English language learning.

It was always very informal, never trying to directly teach anything, and this was intentional. Linguist Martin Joos once proposed five sociolinguistic registers—five degrees of formality when engaging in conversation with another. Among them are the casual register and the consultative register. Although adjacent to one another, the difference between them is very noticeable. I wanted to be a casual friend to Ni, with advice and suggestions, rather than be a consultative instructor. 

We discussed many things about our school and personal lives. Right away, I was amazed at Ni’s level of fluency and how clear her pronunciation is for someone learning English past the critical period. I asked her about her experience learning English and shared my own. I remember Ni bemoaning the peculiarity of English idioms. She wondered why feeling “under the weather” has nothing to do with the weather and how one could hope to begin to understand such sayings. I assured her that even native speakers struggle with them at times. Ni was also very worried about sociolinguistic situations, particularly with regard to inadvertently offending native speakers by using impolite terms. As we both share Asian cultures that stress politeness and respect, this was a concern I related to. But again, I assured Ni that native speakers are quite understanding.

I learned a lot from Ni as well. I had the fortune of learning English during the critical period, so my struggles were substantially fewer. But talking to Ni and hearing about how she approaches learning English taught me about the discipline it takes at a later period in life. In my mind, Ni was already so proficient, but to her, it was nowhere near enough. That constant drive to continue learning and bettering her own English skills is admirable.

I wish Ni nothing but the best in her unending journey and know that she has a wonderful future in English.