“So many choices and so many different directions to choose from. Where do I go, where do I turn, what do I do?”

I chose this picture because it best describes my thoughts on a daily basis when it comes to career choices. I am so lost, that it’s hard for me to feel confident that I’ll ever find what I want to do. If ever I figure that out of course.

The type of student I am is a lost student. My current level of confidence about attending college is very slim. I am not being negative, as I am a very positive person who speaks the bluntly honest truth when ask questions. I give realist answers to questions that I know in my heart to be true to my knowledge. I say I am lost because I am 35 years old and have had over 46 jobs if I count all the different 711’s I moved around to as they were all being franchised to independent owners 10 years ago at the time of my employment and they preferred to hire their own employees not the one’s currently working for 711. My confidence is low because I have had so many jobs that I became a job hopper. One year when filing my taxes I had 6 different W 2’s as I was at the time a single mom and working crazy hours at multiple jobs trying to make a living for us.  I also started off as a banquet server at various hotels all over Virginia beach and working for a temp service where they send you to work all over so those are counted in my jobs list as well. Also I had so many jobs because I believe don’t stay somewhere where your not happy. After I had my youngest son, I decided that maybe I just stick with one job no matter what. I stayed working for Rite Aid for almost 6 years and I absolutely hated retail. I was miserable coming to work everyday, but I did it and put on a fake smile and did everything my boss ask me to do. She was very sad and cried when I left. I was her top best and strongest employee she said.

I’ve had so many jobs since I started working when I was 16 that at age 35 I still don’t know exactly what I want to do. You would think that after 46 jobs, possibly even more that I would have some type of idea of what I want to be when I grow up. The only thing I learned from doing all these many of jobs is what I do not want to do for a career and what type of boss I would want to be. Out of all my jobs there was only 2 that asked me to leave. The rest I would stay about 3 months to a year and put my two weeks notice and go somewhere else. After looking back at my many of jobs, I have learned what talents I pose, what strengths I hold, and what are my weaknesses.

As I’ve taken all the online job assessments and stressed over and over again about what I want to do with my life career wise, not knowing has just brought my self esteem way down. I feel as though the only way to possibly increase my confidence levels is if I pray and ask for a clue as to what I’m suppose to be doing, or look for signs that might point me in the right direction but I always get to a dead end. I’ve talk to various counselors and not just the one’s at school. I’ve talked to psychologist and all they seem to do is want to talk and tell me what I’m suppose to be thinking. I thought it was the other way around.

My accomplishments are having two handsome boys, graduating from TCC which took me 5 years going part time, and trying to keep myself together as lost as I am. The only thing I have found to strike my interest is writing. I can write for hours as I started when I was 12 years old. At TCC I was enrolled in many different English courses and was praised for my many of writings throughout the years. One professor asked for my permission to use one of my short stories for future classes. So I know I pose talent in writing, but finding what to do with that is still a mystery. Maybe one day I will have it all figured out.