Assignment Takeaway

Takeaway 5 – Pay it Forward

For assignment five we were instructed to perform five random good deeds or acts of kindness for others throughout the span of a week. We were to observe their reactions and document what prompted us to perform the deed, how it made us feel, and how incorporating a good deed a day would affect our lives. I elected to help an aunt, a neighbor, a stranger at the market, and a customer ordering takeout.

I realized that performing these acts of kindness for others helped to improve my mood throughout the day and increased my likelihood of doing something nice on a separate occasion. Not only did it make me feel better but it changed the way I approached doing favors for others. I no longer saw helping others as a chore or inconvenience to me but as something good for others. For instance, allowing a car to merge in front of me on the highway would have never occurred in the past but after a few days of performing good deeds for others I did it without even thinking. I didn’t become angry or agitated at all, which is how I would usually respond in that situation. Instead, I let them merge and continued on with my drive as if it never happened, something I was previously unable to do without getting upset.

My behavior and thoughts were changing as a result of this assignment and I’m guessing it had something to do with the “reward” or reaction I would get from doing the deed. It reminded me of how attitudes are formed. Each task performed was instrumentally conditioning me which led to my increase of good deeds and my new view of them. Little did I know that I was already working to make performing good deeds habitual.

Takeaway 4 – Love

For assignment four we were asked to take a quiz on the styles of love based off our current relationship. We were then to discuss how we scored in each love style category, whether or not we agreed with these scores, and if the relationship dynamic could have influenced the results. After originally completing the questionnaire, I retook it with another past lover in mind to see if the results would differ. To my surprise they did and in three areas – eros, mania, and ludus – proving that the type of relationship does impact the style of love expressed. For example, in one relationship I needed reassurance on the relationship status whereas in my current relationship I don’t find myself needing validation.

I think there are definitely developmental differences in love styles. When we’re younger we perceive love and reciprocate it entirely different than how we do as adults. Perhaps the lack of experience may be a cause for the developmental differences since a lack of experience can mean a lack of growth. For example, when I was in the 6th grade I had my first boyfriend and, at the time, him sitting by me at lunch or in class and claiming me as his girlfriend was a sign that he loved me. Not to mention in high school I exhibited a more ludus love style because love was a game to me. I had to always keep my options open. Whereas now, I would view these things as silly and childish as my idea of love and how it’s shown has changed due to experience.

Even our love styles are impacted by our development. The lover I am now is quite different from the lover I was when I was younger.

Takeaway 3 – Prejudice

For assignment 3 we were asked to examine an incident involving comedian Michael Richard and argue rather or not his comments to audience members at one of his shows were racist, revealing a deeply seated hatred for blacks. To complete this assignment, I had to breakdown the meaning of racism and get to its roots. Upon doing this, I learned that racism is composed of negative feelings and attitudes known as prejudice which roots can be found in cognitive and emotional processes. Oftentimes we are unaware of how these feelings, known as implicit attitudes, influence our behavior until a situation occurs that exposes them. It’s previously acquired information from past experiences stored in our memories that contribute to how we react to certain things/people in certain situations. This is the inner workings of the cognitive-behavioral dimension of psychology that I’m learning about in my other course. Our cognition influences our behavior and in return our behavior influences our cognition. This assignment did a great job of showcasing the interplay between cognition and behavior and how it contributes to racism, which I was previously unaware of. This made me reflect on how I’ve responded in certain situations so I can identify my own irrational implicit attitudes like how I instantly get irritated when I drive behind a woman driver because I think many women can’t drive. This particular belief is groundless, especially since I’m a woman myself and I consider myself a good driver.