Of the things I have learned so far in this course, three concepts that stand out to me are heuristics, stereotyping and discrimination, and emotional intelligence. These are universal concepts that are involved in many social situations.

I first learned the term “heuristics” in a Cognitive Psychology course. In that course, the term was touched on as part of the process of retrieving information from one’s long term memory storage. In this Social Psychology course, the details about the different types of heuristics clarified the process for me.

I learned how heuristics may be involved in the second concept, stereotyping and discrimination. After writing about heuristics in the first Assignment Takeaway, it occurred to me that they may be involved more often than we think in social conflict involving perceived racism (Assignment 3 Takeaway). That is, we often respond with whatever comes to mind quickly rather than taking the time to think about a situation rationally.

The third concept, emotional intelligence, also seems to have influence on more than one area of study. Knowing one’s own emotions and feelings is important for self-regulation (Blog 7) and for personal relationships (Assignment 4 Takeaway) and social communication (Blog 8).

I find it hard to pick out specifics about ways that men upset women or ways women upset men. I think it has a lot to do with individual personalities and how those personalities react to individual situations. I have seen both genders get annoyed with the other for the same types of things such as the spending of money, raising the children, cleaning the house, driving habits, and sexual relations. Both genders have the propensity to get annoyed, and even angered, out of frustration with a situation. Based on their individual personalities, either gender may react outwardly or inwardly with verbal outbursts or emotional distance. The devil is in the details, as the saying goes.

If pressed to think of one area in which men and women may irritate each other, it may be in just that, the details. Sometimes, men get annoyed with women when they have questions pertaining to the details of decisions. Although this too can go both ways, I think women like to know the why and when and how to solve problems, not just what the result should be. Women get annoyed with men when they don’t have the patience to provide  all the answers to their questions.

I can see how the study of evolutionary psychology might shed a little light on some of the conflicts that may arise between the genders. Learning how males and females may be predisposed to react in different situations is a good starting point. However, we are all individuals. If we remember that each of us may perceive and process situational information differently, me may be able to learn to see each other’s point of view. Eventually, we may be able to learn to resolve our conflicts quickly.

I think of Emotional Intelligence (EQ) as the awareness of how you are feeling at any given moment or in any situation. It is also the awareness that you may be making judgements about other people in response to those feelings. Self-regulation is how you choose (or choose not) to act or speak in relation to those feelings. I think it is fascinating that there is such a long list of words, 200 +, to describe one’s feelings. I had no idea.

In response to this revelation and to the average score on my own EQ test, I would like to improve my EQ by becoming aware of the entire list of words describing feelings. I think it would also be beneficial to remember to express those feelings in “I” statements and to remember that “You” statements are indications of judgements.

Jean Kilbourne’s video, Killing Us Softly 3 reminds me how frustrating it is to realize how far some people will go to sell things and ideas. They have no morals. We have been inundated with so many ads, for so many things, and for so long, that many of us have become oblivious to the subliminal messages.

I have seen many of the ads like the ones presented in this video that use representations of the “ideal woman” that are unrealistic to say the least. I can see how they normalize the images portrayed. I sometimes cringe at some of the clothes, or lack of, that I see some children and teenagers wearing. To be honest, I cringe at the memory of some of the clothes I used to wear as a teenager.

The ads portraying battered women are new to me, though. I am a bit surprised, but sadly, not shocked that they exist. I wonder who were the advertisers targeting with that ad and, what product were they trying to sell? What kind of person even thinks up this stuff? More important, what type of person is attuned to that type of image? Does buying the product associated with the ad embolden them to make the images part of their life?

It is encouraging when someone, like Kate Winslet, who is idealized, speaks out to say that some images of her aren’t real. Although, it would be more “real” if she had refused to be photographed in that outfit in the first place.