I chose this image because neurotic personalities get a bad reputation for just being anxious and full of pessimism. Granted we are, however, there is more depth to people who are high on the neuroticism spectrum than just being consider a walking anxiety attack.
The NEO personality test has reinforced what I already knew about myself through my own self-reflections, and the multiple personality tests I have took throughout the years. Yet, there are some are areas I found a bit surprising that I scored relatively high or low in. For instance, I am very high on the neuroticism portion which means I am a person who is emotionally sensitive, usually anxious, and have very pessimistic thoughts (McCrae and Costa 1978). In fact, throughout my life, I have always been a neurotic person because I am constantly overwhelmed with stress and anxiety. When I use to work as a waitress, my co-worker used to tell me that she could see the stress leaking through my pores. Even in my personal life, when I was a teenager, I use to find myself getting anxious more often than not by the smallest issues to the point where I had full blown anxiety attacks.
However, I am a little surprised that I scored moderately in extraversion. Granted, I am very charming and gregarious when I am in a fantastic mood, yet, I don’t find myself socializing with people often. Sometimes, my friends and family describe me as standoffish when I am around new people because I don’t introduce myself, nor do I attempt to insert myself in casual conversation. Notably, I have had people told me that they thought I was very rude when they met me in social gatherings because I was very withdrawn.
Subsequently, with this in mind, it does make since why I score low on the agreeableness portion of the NEO personality test. I am very skeptical of people and I tend to be very bold with my anger towards people regardless if they are a stranger (1978). However, I don’t think this description accurately describes how I am in my day to day life. I am outspoken and very expressive with my emotions especially the negative ones. Still, I am willing to admit when I am wrong, and most of the time I am an easy-going person who tries to resolve conflict. In particular, my sister and I speak almost every day, and we constantly have a disagreement because of personality conflicts. Even though I outright say things in anger to her, and more often than not, I am too proud to apologize at that moment. Later on in the day, I would genuinely apologize to my sister, then try to cheer her up with some lighthearted conversation. That is to say, I perceive myself as very compassionate and easy going, but I have a bit of a temper.
Speaking of easygoing, I wholeheartedly believe that much to my embarrassment, the conscientiousness portion of the test has accurately described me to a tee. I scored very low on this portion, therefore, much to my detriment, my easygoingness has made me careless at times and I am very unorganized (1978). Unfortunately, I am a professional procrastinator much to my downfall. Till this day, I have a terrible habit of being extremely unorganized and too careless especially when I have doctor’s appointments. Since, I have terrible anxiety I try to be more carefree about situations, so I won’t dwell on them too much and create added anxiety. Also, I do have a philosophy of not making plans or coming up with any detailed ideas concerning plans because I have a fear that ‘the best laid plans often go astray.’
Thus, after viewing all the compositions of the NEO personality test, I think the portion that describes me the best and is a perfect reflection of my personality is the high level of openness I exhibit. My openness to new experiences, ideologies, cultures, etc. is apparent in my everyday life. Whether I am opening my mind to new political and social ideologies through social networking, or, I am trying to come up with new ideas for my psych studies. This portion of my personality is essential to who I am because I never try to be stuck in rigid way of thinking nor viewing any situation or person.
References:
McCrae, Robert R, and Paul T Costa. “Your Neo Summary.” 1978.