The History of the “Breaking the Ice Gay and Lesbian Pride Festival” at ODU

by Mel Frizzell, Special Collections Assistant

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Our Own, January 1995, page 8: https://dc.lib.odu.edu/digital/collection/ourown

The Breaking the Ice Gay and Lesbian Pride Festival was first held February 2, 1991 in ODU Webb Center.  It was sponsored by the ODU Gay and Lesbian Student Union (GLSU) and the Hampton Roads Lesbian and Gay Pride Coalition (HRLGPC).  The event was envisioned as a winter pride event to supplement the annual Out in the Park pride picnic held each summer.  It was also a fundraiser with proceeds going toward Breaking the Ice expenses and toward the summer picnic.   The main event took place from 9:30am to 5pm and was followed by the play “I’m Positive” at 8pm and a dance in Webb Center from 10pm to 1am.  Daytime events included a showcase of vendors and organizations, as well as workshops “on healthy gay and lesbian relationships, being single, addiction, political activism, coming out, minorities, and the dilemma of gay men and lesbians in the military.”  Guest speakers that year included Robert Bray of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF) who led a workshop on “The State of the Gay and Lesbian Nation: 1991” and Kate Dyer, an aide to U.S. Representative Gerry Studds (D-MA) who led a workshop on gays in the military.  Tickets to the main event were $5 in advance and $7 at the door.  Attendance to the evening play and the dance were free. 

The format stayed fairly consistent in subsequent years, though there were some changes.  The daytime hours shortened to 11am to 5pm the following year and by 1997 the main event ran from 12noon to 5pm.  Admission costs were lowered to $3 general admission and $1 for students, and only went up by $1 by the late 1990s.   Early evening events varied year to year.  Some years featured plays, most years an evening film festival, and a few years featured other entertainment.  1997 featured one act plays by ODU students, followed by country dancing performed by the OtherSiders country dance troupe, and music by local singer and songwriter Julie Clark.  1998 featured Lesbian comedian and musician Lynn Lavner and music by the Hampton Roads Men’s Chorus.  The late evening dance in Webb Center remained a fixture each year.   In 1997, there was an “All Faiths” continental breakfast held in Webb Center before the day’s other activities.

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Breaking the Ice 1995 Workshop Schedule from the ODU Gay and Lesbian Student Records, Box 2, Folder 1: https://sites.wp.odu.edu/oduwiki/2018/06/25/gay-and-lesbian-student-union-glsu/

A number of prominent guest speakers were featured over the years.   Guest speakers often represented current events related to the LGBT community.  The 1992 guest speaker was Karen Thompson who had recently been awarded guardianship of her lover Sharon Kowalski in the Minnesota Appeals Court.  Kowalski had been “severely disabled” in a car accident in 1983. Guardianship had initially been awarded to Kowalski’s parents who barred Thompson from visiting.  After nine years of court battles, Thompson finally won custody in December 1991.  The 1993 guest speaker was Crae Pridgen — a gay man who had been beaten outside a gay bar in Wilmington, North Carolina by three Marines in January 1993.  This happened only a week before his appearance at the 1993 Breaking the Ice.  In 1995, Rev. Mel White of the Metropolitan Community Church was guest speaker. White had been an Evangelical writer who ghostwrote autobiographies for televangelists such as Jerry Falwell, Sr., Pat Robertson, and Billy Graham.  White came out as gay in 1994, transferred his credentials to the gay-affirming Metropolitan Community Church, and devoted himself to serving gay Christians.  The week following the 1995 Breaking the Ice, White led a peaceful protest on Pat Robertson’s Christian Broadcasting Network in Virginia Beach.  White had requested a meeting with Pat Robertson to discuss how the televangelist’s anti-gay rhetoric was harming gay people “in the name of God.”  Robertson refused the meeting and White was arrested for trespassing.  White refused bond and fasted three weeks in the Virginia Beach City Jail until Robertson finally agreed to meet with him on March 8.  At that time, Robertson dropped the charges against White.  Guests speakers for other years included Mandy Carter of the Human Rights Campaign Fund (HRCF); Barbara Grier, CEO and Founder of Naid Press; Kerry Lobel of the National Gay and Lesbian Taskforce (NGLTF); David Perry of Virginians For Justice, and Lesbian comedian/singer Lynn Lavner. 

A variety of workshops were held at Breaking the Ice with some themes remaining consistent over the years.  Given the huge military presence in Hampton Roads, it’s not surprising that “gays in the military” was a frequent workshop theme.  Coming out was also a frequent theme, as were Lesbian and Gay relationship issues, LGBT affirming-spirituality (including alternative spiritual beliefs like Wicca), and LGBT politics and activism.  Other topics included LGBT youth, bisexuality, diversity within the LGBT community, addictions, safer sex, Lesbian and Gay Unions, LGBT legal concerns, finances, child custody, Lesbian and Gay literature, and dealing with grief.

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Breaking the Ice Photo with Caption, Our Own Community Press, March 1991, Page 1 : https://dc.lib.odu.edu/digital/collection/ourown

Each year ODU’s Webb Center cafeteria was filled with LGBT vendors and organizations.  Vendors included bookstores such as OutRight Books, Phoenix Rising, Lambda Rising, The Tidewater Women’s Bookshelf, White Rabbit Books and Things, and others.  Other vendors sold pagers, candles, clothing and jewelry, health products, and Pagan spiritual supplies, among other things.  Organizations included political and activist organizations like the Human Rights Campaign Fund, Virginians for Justice, and even People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA).   Local service organizations included Tidewater AIDS Crisis Taskforce, AIDSCare, Full Circle Hospice, and American Red Cross.  LGBT-affirming religious organizations were represented.  These included New Life MCC, All God’s Children, Dignity (Catholic), Honesty (gay Baptists), Unitarian-Universalists, Integrity (Episcopal), and Presbyterians for Lesbian and Gay Concerns.  Support, social, and recreational organizations with tables at the event included Youth Out United, Transgender Pride, Gay Games, Mid-Atlantic Amateur Softball Association, Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, Primetimers, Lambda Car Club, Gay Men’s Chorus, and Tidewater Bears.

Breaking the Ice couldn’t happen without the support of its sponsors and those organizations that provided volunteers and workshop facilitators.  The two main co-hosts for Breaking the Ice were always the Hampton Roads Lesbian and Gay Pride Coalition and the ODU Gay and Lesbian Student Union (later renamed ODU Gay Lesbian Bisexual Students and Allies).  Over the years other community sponsors and supporters included: Mandamus Society, Hershee Bar, Coral Sand Motel, Don’t Tell Mama restaurant, New Leaf / Quarberg Gallery, Mitch’s Cut-ups, OutRight Books, Out of the Dark, Out and About, Out in Virginia, Our Own Community Press, New Life MCC, Mac Graphics, Virginian’s for Justice, Youth Out United, Bi-Choice, All God’s Children Church, the Unitarian Church of Norfolk, Tidewater AIDS Crisis Taskforce, Tastebuds Supper Club, Taylor Rental, B&B Exxon, and many others.

Breaking the Ice continued at ODU through the late 1990s, and possibly into the early 2000s.  The exact date of the last classic Breaking the Ice is unclear as our primary sources for the festival in the ODU Special Collections and University Archives only go up to 1998.  ODU Sexuality and Gender Alliance (SAGA) brought Breaking the Ice back to ODU in 2019.

National Coming Out Day an ODU LGBT+ Tradition

By Mel Frizzell, Special Collections Assistant

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October is National Gay and Lesbian History Month and October 11 is National Coming Out Day (NCOD). 

National Coming Out Day has been an ODU tradition for LGBT folks on campus since 1989.  In terms of ODU traditions, that’s a pretty long time.  While founded as a Division of the College of William and Mary in Norfolk in 1930, ODU didn’t become a full-fledged university until 1969.   It really hasn’t been until the last decade or two that ODU started thinking in terms of what traditions we have to offer, so an annual event celebrated at ODU since 1989… well in ODU terms that’s a pretty long time.

National Coming Out Day grew out of a February 1988 conference held in Virginia.  Attending this event were approximately 200 LGBT leaders from across the United States.  The day was envisioned as a way to carry forward the energy and enthusiasm from the October 11, 1987 Lesbian and Gay March on Washington.  This march drew 600,000 people in a time when it was harder for LGBT folks to be open about their sexuality. 

The purpose of National Coming Out Day is to encourage LGBT folks to “take the next step” in their coming out process – to push their boundaries, and to be truthful and open – but to do so in a way that is safe for them.  This next step can be something private such as telling a family member or friend, or something public like being visible as an LGBT person in one’s community.  National Coming Out Day recognized that coming out is often a lifelong process for LGBT individuals. 

The purpose of the event is also to foster LGBT visibility.  Unlike Gay Pride Day, which is all about celebrating the LGBT community, National Coming Out Day has been about LGBT folks letting the community at large know they exist and who they are.   Unlike many marginalized communities, it isn’t always obvious who is LGBT.  Many people don’t know that they know someone who is LGBT, and many LGBT folks remain in the closet for fear of harassment, job discrimination, or ridicule from friends and family.  This was even more the case in the late 1980s when National Coming Out Day was founded than it is today.  The cost of being invisible is that it fosters misunderstanding, stereotypes, and bigotry.   Those who know someone who is LGBT are also more likely to support LGBT rights issues. 

The first ever National Coming Out Day was held on October 11, 1988.  It was organized by Jean O’Leary of the National Gay Rights Advocates and by Robert Eichberg founder of a personal growth workshop called “Experience Weekend.”  The first National Coming Out Day was covered in both mainstream and LGBT publications.  National publications providing coverage included USA Today, CNN, and NPR.  Oprah Winfrey dedicated segments of her show that day to coming out. 

After 1988, National Coming Out Day became its own organization to promote the annual event, to keep track of these events across the country, and to provide coming out resources.  In 1990, the NCOD organization merged with the Human Rights Campaign to become the National Coming Out Day Project.

NCOD-OurOwn-November1989

The ODU Gay and Lesbian Student Union (GLSU) was on board for the second ever National Coming Out Day on October 11, 1989.  The GLSU officially started meeting as a student organization on campus earlier that year in the Spring semester.  This first National Coming Out Day Social at ODU was held in the Suffolk Room in Webb Center from 3:30-5:30pm.  The event included refreshments, discussion, and coming out resources.  During the first decade and possibly much longer, this annual social at ODU was held in Webb Center.  In 1990, the GLSU extended an invitation to folks from other local colleges and universities, as well as a local LGBT youth group, to attend.  Music was also added to the line-up.  In 1991, the event included the film “On Being Gay.”  A National Coming Out Day exhibit was displayed in front of the ODU Bookstore that year.  At the time, the bookstore was located in Webb Center.  The display included LGBT books and buttons, as well as an official National Coming Out Day poster and t-shirt.  In 1992, National Coming Out Day included a showing of the film “Since Stonewall.”  In 1999, the film “Working with Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Students” was shown and a “Reflections Gallery” was created in Webb Center.  The gallery was “A chance to view a collection of written thoughts, feelings, and experiences from the Old Dominion Community about gays, lesbians, and bisexuals. “

Today as LGBT people are more accepted by society, National Coming Out Day has come to be a day of celebration for the LGBT community.  While largely a U.S. holiday, it is also celebrated internationally in Ireland, Switzerland, the Netherlands, and the United Kingdom.

National Coming Out Day has become one of many events held at ODU and across the U.S. in conjunction with LGBT History Month.  LGBT History Month was founded in 1994 by a Missouri high school history teacher named Rodney Wilson.  The month is celebrated in October to coincide with National Coming Out Day.  LGBT History Month celebrates the contributions of LGBT individuals, organizations, and community to history and society, as well as the LGBT struggle for civil rights. 

“Most people think they don’t know anyone gay or lesbian, and in fact, everybody does. It is imperative that we come out and let people know who we are and disabuse them of their fears and stereotypes.”
– Robert Eichberg, 1993

References:

ODU gay group to hold social”, Our Own Community Press, October 1989, p. 7.

“Members of Old Dominion University’s Gay and Lesbian Student Union (GLSU) display their banner and a National Coming Out Day Poster (photo with caption)”, Our Own Community Press, November 1989. p. 17.

“The ODU GLSU Invites You! National Coming Out Day Social (advertisement), Our Own Community Press, October 1990, p. 6.

“October 11 is third annual National Coming Out Day”, Our Own Community Press, October 1990, p. 22.

“October 11 – Norfolk: Coming Out Day Social, Old Dominion University Gay and Lesbian Student Union (calendar listing)”, Our Own Community Press, October 1991, p. 21.

“October 8 – Norfolk: National Coming Out Day Social, ODU GLSU (calendar listing)”, Our Own Community Press, October 1992, p. 15.  

“National Coming Out Day, Oct. 11”, Our Own Community Press, October 1993, p. 2.

National Coming Out Day Social (flyer), Box 2, Folder 10, Old Dominion University Gay and Lesbian Student Union (GLSU) Records, Special Collections and University Archives, Patricia W. and J. Douglas Perry Library, Old Dominion University Libraries, Norfolk, VA 23529.